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Dr. Eden King is a Rice University professor of psychology and former president of the Society for Industrial and Organizational Psychology.
A reader asks: “A coworker spends the entire day posting irrelevant links and comments on our work Slack channel. Actual work topics get buried in all the messages. Should I personally ask them to stop, ask our manager to intervene, mute them, or find a different solution?”
Any time someone gives us negative feedback about our behavior, we get defensive. It’s a natural human response — we want and need to feel good about ourselves.
So when you want to change a coworker’s behavior (whether work-related or not), it’s a good idea to approach the situation carefully to reduce defensiveness. The how, when, and where of this communication really matters.
Find a time and place that is comfortable and quiet. It may also be a good idea to keep the first round of feedback casual and light and see if they take the hint. If they don’t, you could be more direct and say something like, “Hey, listen, I’ve been having a hard time focusing on work. The posts are so funny/awesome/fabulous, it’s hard for me to concentrate. I don’t want to miss them, but I also don’t want to miss work communication. Could you save some of them for non-work hours?”
This kind of framing still gives them some positive feedback (awesome posts!) and also centers you and your experience more than them and their behavior. If they react defensively or are unwilling to change, you still have the option to bring in your boss to make the muting decision.
This article first appeared in the b. Newsletter. Subscribe now!