“Should aullllllllllld acquaintance be forgot …” We’ve still got that straight-fire bop (it slaps, bruh) stuck in our heads. Happy New Year, everybody!

Vacation’s over, though, so it’s time to cut back on the singing (and champagne) and get back to business. So let’s get straight to it, especially since we don’t even know what comes after the “auld acquaintance be forgot” part.

Small biz grants: They’re open if you have the time and effort

Brunch: Restaurants are charging post-mimosa “vomit fees”

Cocoa Press: Finally, a $5,000 3D printer for chocolate

(Source:  Shutterstock)

Grants are vital to helping small businesses thrive, from nurturing the very first seeds of an idea to getting through challenging moments. With more than 900 programs available from federal agencies alone, however, the search process can be a little overwhelming.

We’ve got you covered with some lesser-known options to get your juices (and hopefully your funds) flowing in the new year:

• The National Association of the Self-Employed gets top marks for consistency – they dole out one $4,000 grant every month, every year.
• FedEx’s Small Business Grant Contest offers decent odds with about 1 in every 780 applicants receiving up to $30,000, plus networking opportunities and feedback sessions with top execs.
• Focusing squarely on growth in historically underutilized business areas, the HUBZone program provides cash awards and 10% price evaluation preference in open contract competitions.
• The Minority Business Development Agency provides roughly $500 billion in annual grants to growing businesses that are minority-owned.
• The Microenterprise Development Program offers up to $15,000 for refugees in the U.S. to develop business plans, totaling roughly $4.5 million yearly.
• Amber Grants awards three $10,000 grants on a monthly basis exclusively to women in small business. 

Want to dig deeper? Hit up Grants.gov, Challenge.gov or GrantWatch to browse comprehensive grant databases, and check out our list of the Top Small Business Grants at business.com. 

(Source:  Shutterstock)

For decades, restaurants have attracted brunch customers with the promise of unlimited mimosas, but the juice is no longer worth the squeeze.

First, half of all states banned unlimited drinks for a fixed price. Now individual restaurants — including trendy San Francisco Bay destinations like Home Plate and Kitchen Story — have instituted a $50 “vomit fee” for any customer who can’t hold their booze. They’ve also shortened the drinking window from two hours to 75 minutes.

“It’s better, but every other week we get somebody throwing up or vomiting,” one restaurateur told reporters. “Now they go outside.”

Turns out bottomless brunch might have found the bottom after all.

(Source:  Shutterstock)

Need a chocolate fix? You could buy M&M’s or a Hershey bar at the grocery store for a couple bucks, but that would be so … uncreative.

Fortunately, Cocoa Press is here to “turn your chocolate ideas into reality” by 3D-printing custom shapes of pure choccy goodness. If you can dream it, you can eat it … for the low, low price of $1,499 (or $3,995 for the pro model). Even better, it only requires 10 hours of assembly, and you’ll want to purchase a pack of “Cocoa Cores” (in milk, dark, and white flavors) for the printing; they’re basically ink or toner cartridges for your mouth.

But seriously, the Cocoa Press might be a good investment for bakeries and artisans looking to impress customers with unique designs. (The company went viral last spring but was only accepting pre-orders at the time; now, however, you can receive your own Cocoa Press this month.) It could definitely take birthday cakes to a whole new level.

Written by Dan Ketchum.